This weekend didn’t go as I would've planned. In fact, if I'm being honest, I'm still coming to grips with the unfortunate reality of it all. While I'm not naive, and I know we are never promised tomorrow, I am left having far more questions than answers at the moment. Death is a hard concept to learn my dear. It’s the harshest truth in life. My faith feels like it took a gut punch, yet I'm leaning on it so much for peace and comfort. All so confusing and sad, painfully rolled into one.
Sometimes when tragedy hits, we are forced into moments of reflection. That is where I sit this week.
Life, faith, friendship, support. There was a lesson for me somewhere in here. There has to be, or at least deep down I need there to be.
You see Addie, life is kind of like a house of cards. We spend precious time, carefully and meticulously placing each card, making the highest of towers. But with one swift gust of wind, all your hard work and love that went into creating your masterpiece can come crashing down. It leaves you stunned, saddened, maybe even angry - where did this wind come from? Who left the window open or slammed the door? You may find yourself yelling at the air, but there will be no reply. There will be no answers.
While you know in your heart you need to move forward, pick up the pieces and continue to rebuild a new masterpiece, your hands are left a little shaky, and you have little energy left to spare. Purely spent. The task at hand now seems daunting and intangible. That my dear is where the support of steady hands steps in to help.
These steady hands aren't from a single source, but from family, friends, community, even complete strangers. All different shapes and sizes. It's so often that we refuse those hands. But why is that? Why do we believe we need to do it all ourselves? Have it all together? Some days I honestly don’t know which way is up and somehow asking for help seems like I’m admitting weakness. Am I scared of what people will say or think? Is it a fear that in our somewhat complicated life it feels like a burden to even ask? Am I somehow losing what little control I have in our unpredictable journey?
Addie what I'm learning is that this all an internal battle that leaves us exhausted from the fight.
When we are at our worst or even teetering on the brink crying Uncle - look around, they will be there.
Coming together to hold us up, reminding us to breathe, crying alongside us, laughing when that's simply all you can do to keep from crying, or just sitting in complete silence.
Let them be there.
While my struggles are in no way a comparison to the tragedy experienced this week by a dear friend, it’s a reminder I need all too often - let them be there.
True friendship and a kind soul never see a burden. Remember that.
Addie, this weekend wasn't anything I would have imagined and left me deeply wishing I could’ve changed the outcome. While there's a long road of healing ahead, I witnessed and continue to witness humankind at its finest with a community full of love and the strong steady hands that were needed.
If you are feeling in need, let them be there, let them be there.
I love you.